Searching

And if we are the body,

How's the pretty man get so ugly?

How'd he get all these spaces

Between each limb?

Like I said in my last post, life in WY certainly hasn't been anything like I had hoped.

In fact, my and my roommate are going through some pretty strange periods in our friendship.

For days on end we won't speak to each other, maybe a grunt here and there. I'm not sure that we're mad at each other, although sometimes I'm furious when she'll go out with her friends to a BBQ or something and not tell me.

For now I just in in the living room and read Harry Potter books, hoping to soon complete the series. I work almost every night now, which I guess is good. I'm making money and at least, getting out of the house to converse with other human beings.

Home

Somewhere along the way I have lost my home.

I'm not sure where I'll find it, since

it's been so long

And I've forgotten what to look for.

It's probably somewhere with a real bed,

in a real bedroom,

that I can officially call MINE.

And it'll hold something other than hard liquor in the fridge.

And my dirty clothes won't have to wait a month to be washed.

And maybe home looks like a shower that always a available.

And is held up by walls with pictures of my own friends on them.

Maybe a shaggy dog too,

who loves me despite living with all my flaws.

Because I miss not having to fear whatever it is that I'm doing.

If I want to watch a movie it won't offend someone

trying to sleep.

If I was to lounge on the couch with my feet off the ground,

it won't be against the rules.

And if I want to strip my clothes off after work,

Or leave a dirty plate on the floor for more than a day,

I wont be glared at or though less of.

I don't know where home is,

but I really, really miss it.

Personal Note:

Being lonely is HORRIBLE. And I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Cheyenne

Cause it's not the sound keeping me,

Keeping me from sleep.

It's what Jesus said about hell underneath.

Tell me I'm only dreaming, tell me he's just sleeping

When morning comes we'll both wake up to the sun.

And love's enough to keep your friends alive.

-as the cities burn

It's been over a month since I've posted, which hasn't happened in a month or so. But me and Mac's new apartment doesn't have internet, so I rely on barns and noble for free wifi when I'm not working. It's just a battle to find time for anything online. I haven't even enrolled for classes yet. Yikes!

Anyway, I've taken up reading two very wonderful blogs, and I've felt truly inspired to better myself as a person.

I'm broke, lonely, and miserable in WY. But I'm trying my best to stay positive. I even made a list of the ten things that make my life fantastic. And I feel so, so blessed.

In WY I'm broke, lonely, and miserable. But I'm trying to stay positive no matter what. At least I have a job right?

Note to self: You CAN'T live somewhere for just a summer unless you have a job lined up and actual PLANS.

Live and learn, right?

Personal Note:

Last Friday has been the darkest night of my life. As of today I never want to get drunk ever never ever again. So awful.

I'm leaving for my college town in a few days, since Mac ditched me for NE. I can't wait to be reunited with some old friends and get out of the damn town. I'm not expecting a huge party or anything exciting. It is NE after all. But it'll be nice to clear my head and rest.

-Oh yeah, and guy number 4 keeps texting you about his gf problems. This is yet another reason why being a good person and a good listener is such a drag.