Searching

And if we are the body,

How's the pretty man get so ugly?

How'd he get all these spaces

Between each limb?

Like I said in my last post, life in WY certainly hasn't been anything like I had hoped.

In fact, my and my roommate are going through some pretty strange periods in our friendship.

For days on end we won't speak to each other, maybe a grunt here and there. I'm not sure that we're mad at each other, although sometimes I'm furious when she'll go out with her friends to a BBQ or something and not tell me.

For now I just in in the living room and read Harry Potter books, hoping to soon complete the series. I work almost every night now, which I guess is good. I'm making money and at least, getting out of the house to converse with other human beings.

Home

Somewhere along the way I have lost my home.

I'm not sure where I'll find it, since

it's been so long

And I've forgotten what to look for.

It's probably somewhere with a real bed,

in a real bedroom,

that I can officially call MINE.

And it'll hold something other than hard liquor in the fridge.

And my dirty clothes won't have to wait a month to be washed.

And maybe home looks like a shower that always a available.

And is held up by walls with pictures of my own friends on them.

Maybe a shaggy dog too,

who loves me despite living with all my flaws.

Because I miss not having to fear whatever it is that I'm doing.

If I want to watch a movie it won't offend someone

trying to sleep.

If I was to lounge on the couch with my feet off the ground,

it won't be against the rules.

And if I want to strip my clothes off after work,

Or leave a dirty plate on the floor for more than a day,

I wont be glared at or though less of.

I don't know where home is,

but I really, really miss it.

Personal Note:

Being lonely is HORRIBLE. And I wouldn't wish it on anyone.