MY ANGEL?
Give it up to me.
I want to fall in love so dang bad. It's all I ask for from God, -besides help to find my lost keys or debit card or something.
I am doing everything I possible can NOT to look for it. I don't believe in looking for love. I'm hoping finding love is just like finding a best friend. It just happens. Besides, looking for love only awards you more feelings of desperateness. In my experience anyway.
Lately, I've been thinking that maybe you have to do something other then just wait. I mean, all my friends have been in love before. Or at least thought they were in love before. I have never even had a moment where I thought I could even slightly be in love. I've had my share of boyfriends, sure. A few of them are still close friends. But never love, in the dating sense.
And jeeze, I HAVE to be doing something wrong to want love this badly and still turn up without it. I mean, I can't make it happen, but it seems so easy for everyone else.
I've never meant anything to anyone.
Is it so much to wish for?
Like I said, I'm not going out and about like some tramp to find a boyfriend as soon as possible and force love into them. And I would never go into a relationship thinking that 'it's love'.
I just want a friend of a friend to like me, get to know me, become friends with me, date me, and slowly fall in love with me. This is my ideal scenario. Of course, love NEVER happens like you imagine when you're young. *sigh* If only.
And lastly, I know when I finally fall in love and get crushed, or become inter-twined in a relationship gone bad, I will read this and laugh at myself.
I can see myself saying, "Wow you were an idiot. Thinking love was so simple. I would do anything to be 18 again, stupid and naive. Not yet broken."
Yep. I can admit it. I'm naive. So what. I can dream I guess, while I still can.
P.S:
YES I AM JELOUS OF ALL YOU PEOPLE IN LOVE!
MY SNEERS AT YOU IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY!
QUIT MAKING ME MISERABLE!
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