Pretty Doesn't Make It Easier

If this is it -When all we have and ever will
If this is it -Time is running out and standing still.
I'll leave today -Cause there's nothing left to keep me here.
I'll fade away -I'll turn my back and disappear.

I'm in an interesting mood.

I should get shit for school done but I'm in no mood to do more work then I have to at one time. (.....I should start sleeping in my own bed. But for some reason, no matter where I am, I can't stand my own stuff!)

Here's a confession: I'm only writing this blog tonight because I'm avoiding homework and I really, REALLY wanted to post some good song lyrics. Heh.

I've recently been obsessed with looking at all the beautiful people on facebook. Mainly the beautiful girls on facebook. Sometimes I study their faces and wonder what makes them so much prettier from you or me. Their noses? Their tan? Their make-up?

Because truth is, I'm really not pretty. I'm really not. It's not like I'm depressed about it or obsessed or anything. I just feel cheated. However, I read on postseceret.com that 'prettier doesn't make it easier' and that felt really really comforting to me. Because, if you really think about it, its so true! I mean, I'm not ugly by all means, so I'm actually fairly well off next to a poor deformed or scared girl. And seriously, looking at those pretty girls... I know most of them are far more fucked up then I am.

I also think because I'm not pretty I am exceptionally socially awkward. Pretty people don't have to be funny or well spoken. They can be as weird as they want and people still love them! But average people like me need some sort of spark to be liked! We need jokes to make people laugh. We need to know what to say and when to say it. Otherwise, we are just another person! This too, makes me feel cheated. I have not yet mastered joke making as I have a very VERY dry humor that most people don't get. I feel very much unaccepted. Maybe I'm just being sensitive. Boo.

Anyway, that's my take on pretty girls. I would be lieing if I said I wouldn't kill to be pretty. But to be perfectly honest, I don't care enough to stress about it. I can't change a thing, and I can accept that. Which in some cases, makes me far more ahead then some of those 'pretty girls'. Ah, well.

Personal Notes:

I'm on season 3 of skins. The ending of episode 6 made me seriously cry. I've never cried over a tv show before but classical music very much a large weakness of mine.

My hours have been seriously cut at both jobs. I should be thankful but with this semester's bill due soon, I can't help but be worried. Everything I've save is gone! GONE! Ugh. Dorm friends are in a feud and splitting apart one by one. I knew this would happen. Had a fun party last night with good friend Nichole! She invited me over for laundry and before I knew it was playing spoons and getting drunk with joe, kyle, donnie, tory, and even julie. allyson showed up to give me a ride. my leg got bit twice! Good times!